Chapter 13

Twenty years later, Lisia was stretched out on the bathroom floor, a thick towel beneath his left side as Cobweb kneaded and stroked his back. They'd finished their dancing and for the past twenty minutes, Cobweb had been working to alleviate Lisia's backache.

"It's fine now, isn't it?" he asked, slowly running his hand down the curve of his chesnari's hip.

"Mmmmm, can't feel it at all anymore," Lisia softly agreed.

Cobweb reached around to gently cup Lisia's abdomen. This late in the hosting, the swelling roundness of the pearl was obvious. The flesh beneath Cobweb's hand was hot and hard.

"I've never been so well cared for," Lisia whispered. "Never."

After Lisia ended his first visit to Galhea and returned to Harling Gardens, it was several years before Cobweb was able to see him again. They stayed in touch, writing letters back and forth with every turn in season, even using the thought transference unit every so often, but in-person meetings would not fit into their schedules. Cobweb was occupied with the business of Forever, which had become more and more of a job as the Parasiel government had matured, while Lisia was inextricably tied in to work at the school, serving as headmaster, teacher, guide, and general mentor to well over a hundred growing harlings. As Lisia once quipped in a letter, he hadn't time enough to pay a visit to the bathroom, let alone Galhea.

So it was that four years later, after a gap of some months, Cobweb was not surprised to receive another letter from his friend in the north. What did surprise him, however, was the accompanying package. Wrapped in thick brown paper, tied up with cord which Cobweb carefully untied, it appeared to be a published, public edition of the journal Lisia had kept growing up at the facility. Cobweb held it in his hands, staring, before turning his eyes to the accompanying letter.

Dear Cobweb,

No doubt you are very surprised to see this journal put together as a book. It would have surprised me too five years ago, but times have changed. Last year I became aware that Harling Gardens was going to be needing more money for our budget. For the first few years we received a lot of money through donations and fundraisers, including those arranged by the Tigron, but interest has faded and now it's harder to pay for things. With all the harlings we still have and all the expenses (which keep going up!), we needed to do something.

Talking to the other hara, in particular Malorie, who's been my counselor, it seemed like the best thing for me to do would be to share my story. Knitting sweaters and things only generates a little bit of money and this could generate a lot more. According to Malorie, it's something that many hara will be interested in reading and so I can make money for the facility. I'm not totally sure how much of a success it will be, but with help from the Gelaming I did manage to get a big publishing company in Immanion to publish the book. I'm sending you one of the first copies out, since they sent me some extras. Thousands and thousands of copies are going to be printed. In fact, so many are going out it will almost be like a big news announcement. Malorie was saying it might even reach the other staff and hostlings from here.

Anyway, I'm happy about the money but really I think the important thing for me, which I only realized after I read and copied my journal over, is that I'm going to be sharing my story so hara can see how it was. I hope it will teach them some lessons about morality. It also has a lot about soume hara, hosting and birthing, which I think isn't that common. In fact, thinking about publishing this, I've decided that I want to write a lot more, especially articles about hosting and birthing. Right now I'm not using my knowledge at all since nobody here is really allowed to make pearls, but I've started writing out notes so I can write the articles when I have more time -- probably once this place turns into an adult education center and most of the harlings are gone.

Meanwhile, even though I've been through a lot worse, sometimes this job of mine feels like a little to much for me -- not even counting that I spent so much time copying my journal. This week alone we had fourteen harlings come into their Feybraiah and five others were initiated into aruna! Can you imagine it? When I was going through Feybraiah there were a few of us the same age, but this is so many and there will probably be just as many next week. Back in the old days, we hostlings produced so many harlings all around the same time and now they're all the same age.

So many emotions are going around and there's much to be arranged, like finding suitable partners for all of them. The staff do a good job of managing usually so it's not as if the responsibility is only mine, but many of them come to me for advice because of course many of them think of me as their hostling. It's gratifying but it becomes difficult to deal with so many of them.

One of the latest challenges I had to face was actually a little different in that it was very personal. Last month one of the harlings, Tizara, was in the middle of his Feybraiah when we began to arrange a partner for him. As we've been doing more and more, rather than picking for him, we let him tell us who he'd like. We've done this before and I think it's good because normally there isn't a problem and also the experience can be very nice if you're with someone you really desire. Well this time was a little different since as it turns out, the har he wanted was me!

I was so surprised when Fartell came and told me. Of all the times we've had them choose, no one has ever chosen me. I think this is because the harlings mainly don't see me as anything like a potential partner. As I said, they see me as their hostling or as a teacher or mentor. Personally I think this is for the best because I think getting involved with any of the harlings would create a complicated situation. At any rate, when Fartell told me what Tizara had said, it wasn't something I expected. Immediately I asked him if he thought Tizara would change his mind and he said probably he wouldn't, as he seemed very sure of himself.

Despite all this, I resisted and it's funny in a way because it's not as if I have a lot of opportunities for aruna. It's better than it used to be, but it's not at all regular, just every now and then with some of the other staff or, more often, visitors. It's difficult for me to really want to do that with the staff because that had always been something forbidden here and I can't make myself adjust to that. With visitors it's easier and actually sometimes very pleasurable because often the visitors are very high-caste and rather talented. Still, it doesn't happen very often and even with being busy, I do find myself wanting it sometimes.

Anyway, since Tizara was quite sure about wanting me (I had Fartell ask him again after a week had passed), I couldn't really refuse. A week before it was to happen I came and spoke with him. He has wonderful curly hair that reminds me very much of Coral's. This is another reason why aruna with harlings poses problems for me: All these harlings are from the pearls we all made and Tizara could easily be Coral's, just as some of these harlings are mine, and it feels strange to me knowing that. Anyway, he does have lovely hair and when I came to see him he blushed although outwardly he tried to act very confident. He asked me a few questions and I answered them. Actually it wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be.

Now let me tell you something personal I would only ever tell you. When I went to have aruna with him, he wanted so badly for me to be ouana. Of course this is what I had planned since harlings are normally initiated as soume, but when the time actually came, after being soume he didn't really want to be ouana very much, although he did try that once. He really wanted me to be ouana. He said he felt he liked it that way better. For me that's still something strange and when I'm with the visitors who come, I'm usually soume. Part of that is that it's what I'm comfortable with and part of it is that other hara aren't as sensitive as you have been. They don't realize how I was trained and that makes me worry because I'm not always confident in myself. I'm getting better, especially since I have had wonderful experiences with you, but it's not perfect. Tizara did seem quite satisfied, however.

So that's the big news at the moment. What's been happening up in Forever? I remember you mentioning that soon Tyson would be going through Feybraiah himself. I wonder how it will be for him. Has it happened already? I also wonder about little Azriel. What a clever harling he is. Tell his parents I say hello and wish them all the best. I wish you all the best as well, Cobweb. You've been a very good friend.

Yours,
Lis

Cobweb set down the letter and stared at the book. It moved him that Lisia had chosen to share his heart and soul -- not just with him, but with the world.