Chapter 2

When later on it came time for dancing, Cobweb and Lisia moved into the lounge, where they made their own music, both literally and figuratively. Lisia decided to sing his own tunes and even managed a few of the dance moves he had learned as a child at the breeding facility. Once Lisia began to deliver the slower ballads, they took to slow dancing and then inevitably, sharing breath on the sofa.

"You make me so happy," Cobweb purred, his hand resting on Lisia's abdomen as he felt the slight movements of their pearl. "I think I'm going to love being a father."

"I'm sure you will," Lisia assured him. "Although you know, after this you could always be a hostling again if--"

"Tut, tut, tut, my dear, let's concentrate on the here and now." There was another movement, this one stronger. Cobweb smiled. "Right now you are the hostling and we're taking it one harling at a time."

"I know, I know, it's just that I'm Ulani now and it would be easy for me to--"

"Yes, I know, Lis, you've come a long way. I'm very glad of it."

Twenty years earlier, Lisia and Cobweb had both been in very different places, even if they were not different hara. Their characters had remained the same; it was only that circumstances had allowed them both to grow in ways neither of them could have expected.

When Cobweb had left Harling Gardens with Swift after their initial visit, he and Lisia had parted on very good terms, to put it mildly. Over the course of his visit he'd grown sympathetic toward the uniquely strong, yet sheltered, hostling who had managed to save the lives of so many helpless, innocent harlings. He and Swift had both worked to educate Lisia on some of the basics of Wraeththu and offering Lisia an idea of what he and his harlings could become, now that the truth -- and support from the Parasiel and Gelaming governments -- was available.

On his last night, Cobweb had given Lisia a different sort of education altogether. For Cobweb it had been an act of compassion and sheer hedonistic pleasure, while for Lisia it had been a major event in his life. It was the first time Lisia had ever been ouana or experienced aruna in its true form, not as a part of training or as a means of conceiving a pearl or as a stolen moment of illicit pleasure. Lisia was flattered and delighted by the experience and based on that, and earlier discussions, he had made Cobweb several promises.

One of those promises had been to stay in touch. He would surely have his hands full getting the new school off to a good start, but he would try to send letters. He'd talked about it very excitedly as Swift and Cobweb had left for Galhea. Why was he so excited? He'd never written a letter before, because up until a week prior, he'd never had anyone to write to. He would write as often as he was able to find time.

Back in Galhea Cobweb had gone back to his everyday life of running the Forever household and caring for four-year old Tyson. Between the several important political meetings the house had hosted and the increasingly advanced level of Tyson's formal education, carried out by Swithe and Moswell, the weeks flew by for Cobweb and thus when Lisia's first letter arrived in mid-winter, it was a surprise to learn that three months had passed.

The letter had arrived along with a packet of additional, more formal reports that Lisia and Harling Gardens staff had prepared for Swift and the Parasiel administration. Swift had teased Cobweb about it slightly, noting that Lisia obviously was still quite thankful for the "gift" Cobweb had given him. Cobweb dismissed this with the power that any parent has to ignore his children when they go prodding into his personal life. He had taken the letter into the sitting room, where he read it curled up in a chair by the fire.

Dear Cobweb,

Here is the letter I promised you, now that I have a moment to actually write it. I think I told you before, but I've never written a letter before because before I never had anyone to write to. I'm happy that I can send out a note like this and actually say I know someone who lives in the "real world." Some of the new hara here have told me that Harling Gardens isn't really the real world and I can see how it's true, since we're so isolated and specialized in what we care about, but writing you, I at least can feel like I have a small involvement in the outside world.

So very many things have happened here since you left. The plan Swift and I came up with has started to happen and gradually this is becoming the school we had dreamed of. Branad and Effrana, the Gelaming who moved from Immanion, are both working here now and starting a month ago we had our first classes with real teachers. We have five teachers so far, including Effrana, and Branad takes care of the smallest harlings. We also have new hara who do the cooking and cleaning and several others who are helping just to run all big parts of the school, like managing supplies and deciding how we should plan our garden in the spring so we can grow food for ourselves. We've also been able to come up with some ideas for our memorial to the lost hostlings, which we hope to build once the snow melts and spring comes.

I've been spending a lot of time working with the teachers planning out lessons and ideas for the harlings' future education. I admit there's a lot I need to learn because I've never been a teacher before, but as you know this place has always been a school and so I have that experience to use. It's interesting to learn what the other hara think the harlings should learn about, seeing as they have a different background than I do and so they have different expectations. In general we don't have too many conflicts, because what they say sounds sensible, but sometimes I tell them they are being very prejudiced, not understanding that I may not know much but that I understand a lot about these harlings. Still, they usually listen to me since I am considered the expert.

Part of the educational work we are doing that I find very, very interesting has to do with caste training. So far we have one har, Adoxa, whose job it is to carry out caste education. He's the one who's been working with the harlings who've passed their Feybraiah, plus a few of the older harlings who haven't, since we think that some education will come in very useful to them, especially during their Feybraiah.

Adoxa has also worked with me and believe it or not, he told me something very surprising, which is that even though I don't have any training, I "test" as Neoma. Actually he said that some of the things I can do, like open my own seal, are above Neoma but because I am missing a real caste education, I can really only be called Neoma. Right now he's going back and teaching me everything for Ara and Neoma, making sure I learn it before I go learn anything higher. He says I'm a good student, with a lot of "pure-born" talent. (Do you know I never heard the word "pure-born" before? I thought everyhar was like me.) Anyway, Adoxa says that in a few months, after working more, which I have been doing a little each day, I will probably be Brynie. I am very happy at this, because the more I talk to the other hara, the more I realize that I can be more than I thought I could. I hope someday I can be Ulani and be very powerful.

Writing about Adoxa also reminded me of three other staff hara we have here. As you probably know, Swift asked Seel for some help arranging to have some hara from Saltrock come up to Harling Gardens to serve as counselors. At first I didn't know how I felt about this but now that I've met them, I think they're very kind hara and they seem to be doing a good job. A lot of the harlings have had problems coping and even though I help them as much as I can, Swift was right when he said I needed real counselors. It's a huge job just to make sure they feel secure and don't get too sad about things, especially horrible things like what happened to the other hostlings and why we were abandoned. Most of the older ones, including what are now our young hara, are having to not only go to classes for basic education and caste training, but think about their whole lives. Everything has changed for them and some of them are confused now that they can have a choice about their lives.

I can understand how they feel, of course, since my life has completely changed yet again. I feel like I'm a whole new har almost, with so many choices and opportunities I never had. A lot of the changes make me really happy, but I guess you know me well enough to know I can't help but be sad sometimes, and you know why since I talked about it with you and Swift. I keep thinking about everything that happened to me, even though I try not to. I feel very regretful and stupid for how I acted even though I didn't know any better. Still, when I have these bad feelings at least now there is one counselor, Malorie, who has been there to help me. He says I'm actually doing very well all things considered.

Oh, and speaking of doing well, one other nice thing is that finally I'm feeling better -- I mean not just my mood but my body. It took a while, but now I have an appetite and eat as much as I used to. I'm not nearly so bony as I was and my hair is shiny again, which is wonderful. I also have a lot of energy. It's funny and I almost don't want to think about it, but I thought about how I feel now and realized I haven't felt so good in years, even before I started hosting, since this is really the first time since I was a harling that I am healthy but not hosting or waiting to host. Hosting takes a certain amount of energy. I don't exactly miss hosting, although I still feel strange not doing it when before it was such a huge part of my life. Even not attending births anymore is a change for me.

Something else I am missing somewhat is aruna, because even though I never had it much before, almost only for conception, I still want it. The problem is, I don't really feel very comfortable being with any of the other hara in that way. The only times I have shared aruna has been with Adoxa, since that has been part of my caste training. I must say that Adoxa isn't quite as good as that har Vlaric I used to share with, but he is a lot more honest. He tells me he is training the young hara and sharing with them and he never makes promises or tells me lies, just shares aruna, which is enough.

Oh, well, somebody is at the door now, probably wanting to ask me something or have me go somewhere, so I think I'll stop this letter now and just say that I hope all is well with you. I've been told that I probably will be visiting Galhea in a few months so I'm sure we'll see one another soon.

Yours truly,
Lisia