Chapter 4

The journey to the settlement hurt my head. Besides the bright sun, I was forced to cope with the rigors of a horse ride, stuffed as I was on the back of Genron's saddle. I'd never been on a horse in my life and seeing the landscape pass by so quickly, after spending so long in one place, was dizzying, if not utterly nauseating. On top of this I was hungry, as I'd never gotten around to the lunch I'd planned. My stomach was growling as we made out way of the city towards a destination as yet unknown -- at least to me.

We must have traveled for a good hour. For most of the trip, beyond simply trying to cope with my discomfort, I withdrew into myself, of course silent, but really just thinking. I wanted to know why I was being rescued, where I was being taken. I wondered what was going to happen to me and if it would be better or worse than what I'd been through so far. Above all, however, I wondered about the nature of the "difference" Thiede had alluded to.

When the three "Wraeththu" had first come upon me in the dump, I'd seen them as attackers but then, observing closely, I'd realized they weren't that at all and so I had let down my guard. My observations told me that all three were several years older than I was, although not older than twenty. For all their youth, however, I sensed they shared a level of experience and knowledge I could never hope to parallel.

Something else I couldn't help but notice was their faces. It's true I had been away from people for a long time, but even so, I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something very different about these men, something that separated them from anyone I'd met before. After all, when was the last time I had seen a truly strong, handsome man, especially a man under twenty? These men weren't only strong and handsome, though -- they were also, to my eye, quite beautiful, finely made like women. When I looked at Thiede's face, I saw a face that reminded me of several things all at once. His was the face of a prince and a princess combined.

The settlement turned out to be a small village, with men occupying buildings very similar to those I'd seen in the city, only quainter and in better condition. As our horses passed down the main road, I noticed men out working, running errands, and it seemed a busy place. There was no war in this place. Some of my apprehension left me; these people were simply living their lives, not living in fear. That first time I saw it, I didn't notice it, but I'm sure that afternoon there were no women about in the village, only men. As I said, I did not notice at first glance

We rounded a bend in the road and faced a gentle slope of tousled grass and wildflowers. At the top of the rise stood a neat house of red brick, grander than all the others. Thiede led the group up the hill. When he reached the top and dismounted, we all followed suit, with Genron helping me down. I was glad to be on solid ground but the after effects of the ride were hitting me hard. I was still hungry and dizzy, plus I'd sweated through my clothes -- from the heat and the anticipation of the many things that might come.

Thiede gestured broadly to the house and then pointed to himself. His house. I smiled at him as best I could, trying to appear grateful, which I was, even though I really was feeling rather poorly. Thiede being Thiede, this wasn't lost on him, and he immediately rubbed his stomach and said something to the others, who nodded and said something as we all headed indoors, leaving our packs just inside the front door.

It had been a very long time since I'd been inside a building. Thiede's house appeared to be completely intact, unlike the hollow shells I'd inhabited or scavenged from in the city. It's true there was a musty scent, some peeling wallpaper, and other signs that the house had been abandoned for some time before Thiede had taken it over, but all in all, it was a pleasant place and already I was thinking that my decision was working out. Would I live in a house like this?

Thiede strode purposely down the main hall and we all followed along. >From the back another man suddenly appeared. He and Thiede exchanged words and the man disappeared. From my brief glimpse I had noticed the other man was dressed far more exotically than the three men I'd seen so far. Then, coming out of my daze, it occurred to me that I'd seen some unusually dressed people on the ride through the village. There had also been people in regular clothes, pants and shirts, but a number of them were dressed in looser clothing, like robes, and were wearing sandals. The man in the back had had long black hair held back by a molded silver headband set with pearls.

We ended up in a dining room, where another man was setting the table. We were shown to our seats. How genteel it was, how completely surreal even. Just a couple of hours earlier, I had been weeding vegetables in a dump. Now I could smell some sort of delicious lunch cooking and was going to be enjoying a meal in a dining room with chairs, a table, and full place settings with plate, knife, fork, and spoon. Just as it wasn't the first surprise of that day, neither would it be the last.

The man setting the table happened to take note of me as I stood by Thiede, about to sit down, and all at once it occurred to me that I was dressed rather strangely. We were, after all, inside, and there was no need for me to wear my hat or visor. I reached up and took them off, once again letting down my hair. The new man came up to me and took them. Needless to say, I was completely unused to being waited on by servants. Fumbling a bit, I took out a tie from my pocket and quickly I pulled the mass of white into a pony tail. Thiede waiting for me politely, finally I took a seat at the table.

Our lunch was lovely, not only in and of itself -- Thiede's people provided us with the finest food -- but because it was the first "civilized" meal I'd had in I couldn't remember how long. I'm sure my table manners were hideous, although I recall that at the time I was trying desperately to manage something approaching sophistication.

I felt so awkward there among them, so strange, so different, and the feeling grew stronger as the meal went on. No one at the table was talking, but I had the feeling there was a silent conversation going on between them all; I saw it in their eyes. More and more I thought, I am with them but not of them.

When Thiede's servant came in with the wine, I tried to force myself into a more positive mood. What a great change in circumstance I'd experienced in such a short time! I thought back to the bond I had felt with Thiede in the touch to my face, in our brief kiss, in my shelter as I spoke about my mother. When the glasses were filled, Thiede toasted, saying, it was impossible to miss, "To Moon!" We all raised our glasses and drank, they with sophistication, myself barely able to keep from choking, as I'd never had alcohol in my life.

Finally the meal was over and Thiede came up to me. "Come," he said, patting my shoulder. I wondered what would come next.

Thiede led me down the hall and over to a staircase which we climbed into an upstairs hall lined with doors of dark wood. I felt the alcohol having its effect, making me tired and, yes, after only one glass, quite drunk. As we approached a door to the left, it suddenly opened and a servant came out. Thiede said something to him and quickly he return back in the room.

Now Thiede turned to me and gestured for me to enter through the open door. I did so and found myself in a large bathroom. The servant was drawing a bath. I saw the water was hot, steam rising more and more as the water shot out of the faucet. I had almost forgotten about running water and certainly I hadn't had a proper bath in ages, although I'd tried to use local water and rain as ways of cleaning myself. I smiled at Thiede gratefully. The bath would be much appreciated.

The next thing I knew Thiede was gone and I was alone with the servant, who was now waiting beside the bath expectantly. I walked up to him and waited, thinking perhaps he had something to tell me, some instructions on operating the bath or finding supplies. All at once I remembered my notebook and pen and how I did not have it with me. How would I ever understand him? Had Thiede even told him I was deaf?

The servant gestured at me, making a circling motion from my shoulders on downward. What that was supposed to mean, I didn't know. I studied his face, puzzled and wondering what he was trying to say to me. He repeated the gesture with more urgency and then, gauging that I still didn't understand him, he tugged at his collar, undid the first button, and then pointed at my own shirt.

He wanted me to undress for the bath. He even stepped closer and began to undo my buttons. Steam was rising up from the tub. I wanted the bath but I didn't want to undress. Not with him there -- not with anyone there! I did not like to uncover my body and never had. When you look the way I do, you learn the art of concealment and you live it. It wasn't only the sun I feared, but the prying eyes of strangers.

Seemingly oblivious to my discomfort, the servant worked a few more buttons before I stepped back abruptly and shook my head. I reached up and closed the top of my shirt where he had opened it. I waved him away, towards the door. I could do it myself and I would. He didn't press the point, only seeming a little bit disappointed before he bowed to me slightly and left the room, closing the door behind him.

I went over to the low table by the bath and found a bottle of sweet-smelling oil, like roses. I poured it into the tub before finally slipping out of my clothes. I took off the shirt, the pants, the long socks, the boots, my underclothes, and everything else I'd covered myself with. I left them in a heap on the floor, sensing that I might not see them again. It didn't matter; these Wraeththu would be taking care of me, clothes included. When I looked in the mirror, I saw the child of the moon, slender and white and ready for a bath.

I dipped my toe in the water, testing the temperature, and turned to get into the tub. There, standing in the doorway, stood Thiede, staring at me and my now completely naked body. It was like one of those nightmares where you're naked and can't get away, everyone is staring.

Thiede came towards me and I couldn't even turn away, I was so mortified. He handed me a piece of paper. On it was written a note:

Enjoy your bath. Do not, however, be too modest. There is nothing to be ashamed of, nothing. You must learn this. Tonight we will talk further.

My face must have gone red. I nodded, not really even looking at him, and quickly turned and slipped down into the bath. For a moment more Thiede remained there watching me, and then at last he left. I closed my eyes. I hoped I had made the right choice in coming there.