CONNECTICUT
The Blandest State
in New England
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CONNECTICUT
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Connecticut [Maine] [Massachusetts] [New Hampshire] [Rhode Island] [Vermont]
Considering how small New England really is and how long I lived there, it's pretty impressive how little I know about this state. Before I was born, my family lived in Fairfield for around ten years. Now it's some kind of super-rich suburb and I haven't been there in ages. Once or twice my parents drove me through to show me the old house, but it wasn't a big fancy one, just a little boxy thing with a porch that my dad built. There was also a good bakery on one of the main streets and a mediocre university.
Ah, but I digress. What do I know about Connecticut? Well, for one thing, I think it's a place that a heck of lot of people go through in order to get other places. What New Englander hasn't gone down the Connecticut coast on the way to New York? You know what I'm talking about. After a while, you think you're losing your mind, there are so many cities ending in "port." Also so many boring stretches of highway. Ever figure out the deal with those sound barriers on the sides of the highways? What other state does that?
However bleak the highways, however, it's even worse when you go by train. Trust me, I've taken two round-trip Amtrak trips from Boston to D.C. Connecticut is no rose. Not only does the train slow down to about ten miles an hour and stop at every single station, but all along the tracks are just amazing amounts of trash, a lot of it really amazing trash, the kind that makes you say, "How did that get there?" I wouldn't be surprised if I saw a 747 crashed on the side of the tracks, just lying there, half-rusted. Someone dragged it there for the scrap metal, you know? Maybe that's why the trains go so slow, I guess -- so some bored Amtrak passenger can say, "Ugh, hey, excuse me, did I just see a UFO under that overpass?"
To stop dumping on Connecticut, however, let me note a few nice things. OK, so isn't there some fancy building in Hartford with a blue dome with shiny gold stars on it? I like that a lot. Hmmm, what else? Fairfield has a dogwood festival. I've been to the beach and it's nice. My parents say it's a very comfortable place to live. And hey, it's "The Constitution State."
Ooops, I guess that's all. Sorry, Connecticut, I hardly knew 'ye.
This doesn't have to be a sad story, however. To find Connecticut (or at least a pale, digitalized version thereof), follow the following links:
On to Maine ->
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