MAINE
In New England,
No "Small Potato"
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MAINE
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Maine [Connecticut] [Massachusetts] [New Hampshire] [Rhode Island] [Vermont]
Funny how large Maine used to loom in my mind. When I was little (and even, sadly, until I was in middle school), I thought Maine was just about the biggest state there was. Going on a trip to (or through) Maine took forever. Looking on a map, the state looked about ten times the size of Rhode Island. (Some sense of perspective I had!) Even compared to the slightly beefier Massachusetts, Maine seemed like a monster of a state, so much so that back in elementary school, when I watched the NBA on TV, I thought the Trailblazers were from Portland... Maine. I was so disappointed when I found out otherwise. Who knew?
Now that I'm slightly more grown up, I see Maine in a new light -- I guess a fainter light. Turns out the state is actually cold, kinda barren, and pretty poor. Loggers are tearing up the Great North Woods. Visiting a lot of the southern coastal towns, the touristy kitsch and dreck drives me to the rocks. As a kid I'd run along the rocky "beaches" to the slimy rocks, the ones my mom told me I shouldn't climb on. You know, "Watch out or you'll be caught by the tide!" I'd look in the tidal pools for sea urchins and snails, glad we weren't in some craft store full of "work by local artists".
Anyway, there's the touristy hell Maine provides. I think the worst place has to be Freeport. Don't know it? I am so proud of you!!!!! Ahem, Freeport is the home of L.L. Bean, the formerly quaint outdoor equipment dealer that has now gone so corporate as to make Bean himself turn over in his grave. What real New Englander can in good conscious buy that stuff anymore? It's gotten to the point where there'll be three varieties of tents and about 75 varieties of designer "weather-resistant" dress ties. What the heck are attache cases doing in the catalog? Aaaaaarrgggh, it makes me so mad!
But back to Freeport, a town where yuppies, rich old people, and snots from all over come to get their exclusive Bean and "discount" / "outlet" / "warehouse" goods. They pull into town in their all-terrain vehicles and leave with about 500 pounds of worthless luxury goods. Am I the only one who thinks Lenox plates are ugly? These tourist shoppers disgust me. They litter all over the place, talk way too loudly, and bitch if they can't get a parking space in front of the Gap. Ah, but yet they are willing to pay $150 for a turtleneck. It must be hell to live in that town, if you're a local person. Sure, you can make a buck, but you have to deal with these people. The downtown looks like a mall now.
McDonald's came in and moved into a historic house. Supposedly they did the town a favor by maintaining the "architectural integrity" of the downtown, but inside, it's pretty scary. There's this really nice but neutered house interior set up with fancy tables and chairs all sealed under plastic. So on the one hand, it looks kinda fancy, but on the other hand, you're still eating a sandwich that came out of a box. Not to mention the whiny, snivelling yuppie larvae that eat there.
Moral of this story: If you're not some snotty, fad-chasing, rich yuppie and yet feel the need to buy your outdoor goods at L.L. Bean, go ahead. But be warned: You could be assimilated!
Now for the nice things I have to say about Maine. The great national park, Acadia, is up there. My mom says I've been there, I don't remember, but it's supposed to be great. I'd check that out for sure. If you can't get up there, however, there's tons and tons of seacoast left to explore, a lot of it within easy reach of New Hampshire and Massachusetts.
Take Reid State Park. You find it on a map (I don't know exactly where it is myself) and go there. You find a huge expanse of pristine beach (without rocks!). You jump in the water. You jump out in about 0.001 seconds. The water is about 55 degrees! I personally love cold water, you might think otherwise, but it's fun, trust me. You get so cold you don't even know it's cold. The waves are great and there are lots of snails to collect. If you get really cold and can't take it, go to the lagoon. The water temperature is about five degrees higher and there are no waves to splash you. That's where the kiddies go. Try being an adult, though. It's more fun and probably good for your heart!
Other places to go are Portland, Pemaquid Point, and Boothbay. Portland is kind of like Ithaca, New York, if you've been there, except on the ocean. (I'm trying to say it's hilly and collegiate.) Anyway, there are lots of little shops to stop at, good restaurants (especially seafood), and tons and tons of crooked, red brick buildings. I exposed a couple rolls of black and white film there once and let me tell you, that city has atmosphere! As for Pemaquid Point, it's got a nifty lighthouse, seriously rugged coastline, and a number of good campgrounds nearby. Boothbay is kinda touristy but still has its charm and a really sweet mini-aquarium run by the Navy. I think it was just renovated, but last time I was there I spent about an hour petting a dog fish (little shark). It's a great place for kids.
One more thing before we leave Maine: Potatoes. I love tubers, and seeing as a lot of the tubers in Massachusetts came from Maine, I just had to love Maine. Make sense? OK, whatever, I've rambled too long obviously. To learn more about Maine, follow the links below:
On to Massachusetts ->
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