POETRY SLAM NO.2
Poems from the Pit
of Black Despair
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POETRY SLAM NO.2
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Four poems sent in a bottle from a faraway place:
the day was bright
golden and warm
i was comforted
happy
laughing and loved
it was sweet
as far as i could see
a limitless horizon
perpetual daylight
darkness turned away
but then
a diminishment
a filter over the sun
casting a shadow
a long
dark
shadow
my eyes grew weak
i could not see
i could not think
or remember
or know
what was the sun?
i knew only
darkness
undifferentiated
unmapped
hopeless
enclosing me
grasping me
to its bosom
covering my eyes
my ears
my heart
triumphant
that it has won
again
there was no looking up
out
over
above
or through
it was the end
or felt like it
the beginning of the next
is far
beyond the edge
of the world
this world
of darkness
where there is no ahead
only here
and now
the end seems final
here
and now
no matter tomorrow's
joy or happiness
those are ideas
enclosed in light
obscured by shadow
bound by the mind
looking down
spiralling
diving
head first
down the shaft
the pit
of brutality
hatred
ugliness
pain
misery
and wretchedness
where no one loves
or is loved
or cares
or can see
anything
but
darkness
the hallway is empty
sterile
feet dodge quickly
down the carpet
to the stairs
another step
a slightly slower step
a careless sigh
a smile
eyes turn down
the feet increase
hands dig into pockets
a frozen smile emerges
quick words are spoken
not heard
only digging
in the heart
the mind
chasing
tormenting
slashing like a knife
over and over
again and again
ringing in the soul
a smile like a bell clapper
the frozen world
of the soul
warm
elsewhere
but here
cold
empty
mechanical
hated
invisibility is desirable
the shame
is hurt
life is hard
he won't hear it
these words
of black despair
he'll say
he's heard it
all
before
before
and before
i say
it is
it was
it will be
me
why must i go
back
to this
despair
emptiness
withdrawing
in pain
anguish
loneliness
a few days in light
happiness
warmth
company
a few days that seem
eternal
exhausting
wretched
and ugly
the cycle begins
again
again
and again
i fall in
the rabbit's hole
i cannot get out
until the rabbit
releases me
All poems ©1997. By Wendy Darling.
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