RHODE ISLAND
A Bunch of Islands
Riddled With Roads
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RHODE ISLAND
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Rhode Island [Connecticut][Maine][Massachusetts][New Hampshire][Vermont]
It's really awesome living in Rhode Island. Seriously, you meet anyone from your state and you find out you're first cousins, maybe even half-brothers. Everyone's related down there, I swear. I've never seen two people from Rhode Island meet who didn't say, "Wow, I live right by you!" This is naturally not such an incredible thing given how small that place is, but really, people act like it. They're sense of proportion is so wacked it's like the entire state -- essentially, metro-Providence -- is the size of Texas. Those Rhode Islanders and their big heads.
I have friends from Rhode Island and I've been there on visits as well as a few trips with my family. All that said, there are only two things I can really, absolutely say for sure about the place.
Number one, it's run by Mafia. I know, I know, so is everyplace, according to people who really don't know, but this is serious. There's not a construction job in the state that's not Mafia-generated pork. Half the restaurants are fronts for crime rings. Drive around some places in Providence and you'll notice a lot of big, dark vehicles with opaque windows. Also swarthy, Southern European guys in tailored suits. I guess they can't help themselves. With a state so small, you can gain control and influence over everything with only a few deals in the legislature. Screw the governor!
Ahem. Now on to another group of "foreigners." Turn on TV in Rhode Island -- just any TV, not even one hooked up to cable -- and you'll hit something you might not have seen before: all-Portuguese TV channels! Rhode Island and southeast Massachusetts have so many Portuguese they've got their own TV channels. You can see really weird stuff, like game shows, variety shows, religious entertainment. It's incredible. Visit the public schools and you'll find kids who speak Portuguese they learned from their grandparents. It's a kind of code down there. Meanwhile sales of cream bleach are way up (got to get rid of those mustaches, ladies!) and local supermarkets feature aisle-long Goya/Portuguese sections, complete with devotional candles and imported Portuguese saltwater. What a country!
Oh, my goodness! Could it be I have overlooked Newport? Upon reflection, it seems I have. Heavens, Newport is very nice. I get the idea that a lot of Rhode Islanders resent it for being so popular with the tourists, but really, you have to admit that it's a gorgeous city -- right on the ocean, lots of historical scenery, and, above all, the glamorous and spectacular Newport Mansions. Considered "summer cottages" by turn-of-the-century multi-millionaires (e.g. Rockefellers, Vanderbilts, etc.), these mansions are home-grown (or, in some cases, imported) versions of European palaces. Europeans themselves find them quaint, but any American will be amazed.
Since I'm obviously so clueless when it comes to this state, I advise you to find out more at the sites listed below:
On to Vermont ->
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